Evaluation for Creating, Developing, and Devising Drama

Evaluation on 17th and 18th January 2011.
I know that it appears that I have made a lot of negative comments on this project and I can sense some of you who read my blog will dislike me for it, but should I stay silent or stand up for myself?? On the whole this process has been a struggle for me and knowing who’s behind all the anger, pressure, and every other emotion I have been feeling (and it’s not Amy B or Lloyd so no need to sue me). I can’t believe it took me this long to realise what he has done to me. I felt that both nights were good, but could be improved just by having faith in people and trusting people, as well as communicating with people especially Sammy and Aaron (our technicians). Then again we all make mistakes. On both days I got a grip of what jobs a producer ends up doing if there isn’t an assistant about to do them. What I did was fetch coffee, fetch last minute props (negotiated with Katrice of course as she is our prop and costume mistress), and general assistant like duties. I didn’t mind doing that because it helped me get into more of a grip with my character but I draw the line at not paying me back.
Aside from that, the play ended up being well structured (especially the ensemble work); the media side of the play was well constructed by Sammy and Aaron. I felt the scenes between Jay and I was great but could have been longer. Throughout the performance days, our friendships with Amy B and Lloyd and our friendships with our tutors became strained and we all fell apart in some way. Good show though. I know we have worked tremendously hard through every step of the process (with some not so good bits in the middle). It was just a pain to have around. As soon as both performances were done I thought “Thank goodness that is a load off my mind”.
At this time I would like to apologise to Michael and Nick for not speaking up more in regards to the amount of work I was doing, or doing any work as such in the middle of the process. And to my friends, I hope that we can get back to being a family and being self-less and not selfish. If this evaluation seems short, it means I have just been a little traumatized with this whole process that I have the same opinions and feelings I did from the middle of the process.